Bradford – Not Broken But Bent

Whenever i look at the rich and abundant awe inspiring architecture, sitting neglected and derelict in nooks and crannies of Bradford i literally feel like crying ..I wish there was a father Santa who could foresee the potential this city carries, the profound history if harnessed with modern mindset can prove to be a major tourist attraction.

Behind many a broken doors are stories that the city tells, stories that are unheard of and stories that might be well forgotten. The classic, almost signatory sooted Yorkshire stone is a warm constant, a leaf from this book thats left alone with its pages crumpled.

Its heartbreaking to see this city.

I’ve never the city but there is something about it that is so inviting, something that makes you like it, makes you want to be associated with it, read and comprehend it.

The city which stood tall in view of late 18th Century Industrial Revolution, a hub of mills and their fortune, modern and majestic, the city boasted life and limelight. A city whose days spelt frisk fashion, evenings filled with mirth and music. The New Victoria Cinema hosting lively gatherings in its humongous ballrooms. Posing a venue to exuberant ballets and orchestras. This and much more defined this city of colours and city of class.

I just look at the Bradford today and ask : Where did it all go wrong

and more importantly, is there a way to restore what we lost. Is there a way we could start over. Can we all get together and regenerate the city which once burned so bright it melted !!

Now is ..

I don’t get time, tomorrow is always the go -to, too much in my mind, too cluttered a brain. Just hoping from one enigma to another maze . More stairs to climb, more hoops to hop.

Where is time ? 

May be Now is !?

I know it’s random, brain’s a bit humdrummy ATM

Need a break so bad 💁🏼

Towards a happy heart 

Life is truly turned into a mumbo jumbo of monochrome monotony. We spend time and effort, hours to years , running after desirables, hitting bench marks,  advertising achievements, projecting a façade of mundane fulfilment that we almost forget what we ourselves are truly about. Somewhere down the line, whilst chasing life, we’ve managed to have lost contact with it . Life we know today can be repetitive, tedious and very tiring. Once in a while  therefore its essential for an individual to make efforts in order to restore one’s mind and soul. There is so much one can do, nonetheless its advisable to disconnect with the plastic and associate with nature. Something as effortless as walking can do wonders to help you unwind . Gardening and spending  time in the sun is another way to leisure some quality time with nature.

Also some bullet points :

  1. Believe in simple – Its rather ironic that being simple is actually a complicated process, it is the first step towards mind regulation. That’s when you free your mind of clap trap of scrambled thoughts. Getting rid of unnecessary brain clutter  helps one’s train of thoughts to be manageable, clean and lucid . Which then plays part in holistic wellbeing of the individual.
  2. Face palm the chase, the competition. The rat race.
  3. Be a vegetarian – even if its for a day
  4. Stare at the sky , count stars !
  5. Switch your mind off, and have a cup of chamomile tea.
  6. Read. Write. Color
  7. Meditate

“The Simple Path – Silence is Prayer, Prayer is Faith, Faith is Love, Love is Service The Fruit of Service is Peace

8.Spread a good vibe a day , as little as a smile

9.  Be Content :

“The greatest wealth is to live content with little.” ― Plato

10. Laugh it off

Laughing is actually a therapy, it has so many proven benefits its almost surreal. It is a natural analgesic and helps decrease heart diseases, since it plays part in reducing stress which is a reversible risk factor for cardiovascular events. Laughing also is a form of mild chest physiotherapy and therefore can help with pulmonary strength and reducing risk of breathing difficulties. And best of all, it helps reduce weight as well. Well there is therefore no reason why one not laugh it all out, even if its for no reason at all.

“When it’s all said and done, the only thing that matter in life are so damn simple. Family, friends. being safe and well. I think before the war a lot of people got sucked in by the crap on TV. They thought having the right shoes or the right jeans or the right car really mattered. Boy were we ever dumb.” ― John Marsden, The Night Is for Hunting

lets D. Clutter !

Decluttering is important,it’s integral .
When life has piled up irrelevant crap over the years . When unknowingly it had become incredibly stuffy and overwhelmingly daunting .
You don’t realise how it grows on you . How it had devoured your senses.
And how things become clearer once you un entangle your self, un twirl the thought Mumbo Jumbo and let your mind breathe.
This is the first step towards spirituality. It’s a long haul but it’s something that needs to be considered. Otherwise life these days is such a plastic buisness with concrete and causticity swallowing us inside out !

Stop and Stare



Islam – was a religion of peace and humanity, the words that now seldom resonate with its followers, interestingly  instead we now find ourselves in muddy waters , sticky situations on lines of vicious verbosity and islamophobia more often then not.

Though Islam for me was Al Battani and Ibn e Sina, mathematicians, scientists and astronomer back in 7th centuary working on yet to be explored complex theories of length and values of time, contributing to medicine and philosophy.

Islam for me was 14th centuary Ottoman architecture of Bursa and Edirine, old school version of Travel blogs by Ibn e batuta, Food ecstacy of Muglai Cuisine, (who ever invented the auspicous biryani 😍)  heart warming Persian Poetry and artistic Midieval pottery . Where then, down the years ,we now have identified ourselves as rational and rash nations of lethal judgements and intricate jigsaws of  fleas and flaws. 

I am a huge believer of peace, and happiness, for life is too short for hate and humdrum.At the same time I believe self respect is something a nation takes its pride on . Today we see blood shed and barbarity. And cry silent tears.

Today that we cry, may be it’s not any one else’s but our own fault. Not as individuals but may be like a community, we have failed on so many levels. May be blindfolded, or is it voluntary myopia .

The head of states of Muslim countries is another story . Either they are naïve and unaware or have rather pestering issues at hand, like whats for lunch .My rather flimsy memory fails to remember last time even a single head of state from a single Muslim country stood up to any of the multiple atrocities muslims are being served with .

It’s not a secret that Muslim Nations comprise of the wealthiest community in the world . But what makes us so destitute, so defenceless. How can we let this happen over and over again, one country after another, Just being wiped off the face of the planet. Are we so worthless. Or is that the ruthlessness within ourselves that renders us numb and selfish.How can we then expect the rest of the world to understand, let alone respect us.


I feel so ashamed of this tattered representation ! The whole Islamic world is shred into baseless differences. Who fuels the fire ? I’m not sure and I better not be sure. But at the end of the day the fact remains. We are a rather battered entity.No wonder Islam is an easy target since we are broken into a hundred pieces marked by our self created petty differences . And yet we tend to blame the others.

It saddens me how we are ages away from real essence of our religion and that In what drains of ignorance did we pour the real Islam, the very definition of  peace that Islam stood for 1400 years ago,  and fabricated it with pretention, selfishness , racism and prejudice. When did money and bribe and cast and creed and sect and segregation and our own tummies start to be epitomes of our priorities.

It just pinches the soul of every sane Muslim to see ourselves in these horrible pits of darkness. Since its unfortunate , we stand here crippled and crying and held responsible for crimes we didn’t commit, yet manipulated and victimized the worst !!

Might the Muslim nations wake up from their slumber and let go of the segregation and hate, instead unite and step up for humanity .

And this cannot be denied that the entire Muslim world is more of a victim to this scrutiny and state terrorism, than anyone else. Its about time we stand up for ourselves.

Not by war but by Peace, By Education, By prosperity in our own states, Love and acceptance and by Islam as a way of life, Islam of ethics morals and humanity, Islam of equality and forgiveness ; An Islam that has a little more to it beyond burqa and beards .

And It’s easier said than done, but one thing we can hold on to is hope

BPD – are we doing enough, are we doing it right ? 🤖✏️📚

Its 1 am , I had just finished clerking a rather complex patient to the wards. Time for a quick brew may be, I tell my self as on call night rolls on. Its been a busy day so far, assessments, assignments and attendances to medical concerns of various service users. My to – do list still showed quite a few boxes awaiting to be ticked off. ‘There are just not enough hours in the day’, this thought occurs quite a lot often these days.
Just about then I receive a call from the crisis team, there’s a lady who needs assessment. I head to the assessment room, the brew could definitely wait, this lady becomes my priority- a knee jerk reflex to every on-call bleep . I make a quick entry to my ever-growing task tab.
I meet this lovely but clearly distressed lady, it was lengthy conversion, she reported she felt extremely lonely and helpless to the point she might harm herself, she had no one to go to, no one to listen. She had material possessions, adequate funds, food supplies but that’s not what she was after rather desperately so, in the middle of the night. At this point of time she needed emotional support, psychological nurturing, reassurance, may be some form of human contact, some sort of magic solution that could bring her out of this misery there and then. She yearned for a place of safety where she could feel at ease, safe from her thoughts ,safe from her mind, safe from her own mind .

At 2 am in the morning all she wanted was a hospital admission.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD).

– Difficulties with relationships, self-harming and feelings of emptiness.
– Impulsive behaviour and angry feelings.

There are different factors that can lead to someone getting Emotionally Unstable Personality disorder (EUPD). Difficult childhood, neglect, physical, emotional or sexual abuse while growing up are the commonest causes. The experiences can have long standing effects on one’s emotional state and have proven to dictate feelings about self and others later in life .

Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder is a rather common occurrence, may be less recognised in world outside medical circles and hence rather neglected in terms of appreciation and attendance.
Around 1 in 100 people have BPD. BPD is an illness that makes one feel distressed and anxious. It affects relationships, can cause extreme reactions to minimal stimuli, the person feels abandoned, has unstable relationships with others , Confused, impulsive in ways that could be damaging. Tendency towards excessive spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating, regular suicidal behaviour, threats, or self-harm, Long lasting feelings of emptiness, difficulty controlling anger, getting into fights, Intense, highly changeable moods, Paranoid thoughts when stressed. The list by no means is exhaustive.

Inpatient admission

As a on call psych doctor this is a challenging situation. EUPD in itself is a dilemma when it comes to crisis management. Local and National guidelines state hospital admission must be the last resort. The effectiveness of
which itself remains greatly debateable. Moreover, there is little evidence of pharmacotherapy being beneficial, especially in emergent circumstances.

Multiple hospital admissions remains a common occurrence in these cases
, over burdened NHS reaching its threshold, struggling with utmost
bed crisis of all times.

There are ways we could help individuals with EUPD before the boiler bursts and minimise crisis induced compulsive hospital admissions that do little benefit if at all. Options that we encourage our service users to consider, these include


– The NHS offers mindfulness courses
– Helps manage emotions

Cognitive Analytical Therapy (CAT)

– Helps understand problems in relationships.
– ‘switch’ between liking and disliking people

Psychodynamic psychotherapy

– This therapy focuses on your unconscious. Your unconscious is the part of your mind that controls beliefs, emotions or behaviours without you thinking about them.
– Therapists think that past experiences, especially those in your childhood, can affect your unconscious. The therapist will try to link your current problems to past events. This may help to explain why you feel the way you do.

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
– helps you to build skills to deal with distress.
– Therapists call this ‘emotional regulation’.
– DBT can help you learn how to control harmful ways of coping with distress, such as self-harming11 or using drugs or alcohol

– There is no medication to treat borderline personality disorder
– Can offer you medication in a crisis, but this isn’t helpful as a long-term treatment

The question is, are we employing them effectively enough to yield benefits or is it just a formality we entertain to dot our Is and cross our Ts.

Mental Health- myths and metaphors ✔️☝🏽️💁🏽

‘Insanity sometimes is the sane response to a mad society’ – R.D Liang (The anti Psychiatry Movement )
Subtle yet stumblingly debilitating is the decline in community’s mental health.This might not be talk of the town, but it’s  very much happening, and its very much getting the world . With much bigger a force than we realise.. 

It’s rather unfortunate that we see the problem right Infront of our eyes and yet decide to ignore it. 

The stigma,the society, the fear of being pointed at and left out advertises against approaching the root cause.

Everyday we see individuals,very much like you and very much like me , being a victim to brain disorders. Unfortunately this is now an occurrence, more often than ever before.

 More often because today’s world is almost  an ideal breeding bin for  MHDs and today’s minds increasingly  prone to provide a snug habitat to such. 

Labelling and stereotyping of mental health, and the sufferer of it,remains a sad but stark reality. Brushing symptoms and presentations under the carpet is unfortunately considered preferable to status loss and discrimination.

We struggle and would continue to struggle, and strive and continue to strive, since it is rather high a time.

For healthy minds is a priority for us as a society , for mankind as a population and for earth as a planet . 

I,Once 🎀

From fairy tales and fables.Lullables and la la lands.A baby in cradle crawls its way up the ladder of life.Where fabrication and ferocious fiction awaits him.The cynicism is the very essence of this world.Irony marks every step,every path.Life is full of surprises.World abundant in temporal concerns.

As we scroll up the years, realities reveal themselves.More secrets get unearthed. Its like a story.Every person having a diverse tale to tell.No one learns from others.This lesson is exclusive for every individual.A scalded soul can heal solely it self.Its just an illusion that mankind depicts support and salvation.At the end of the day, its just going to be you,your’s and your self ! 

Life has always inspired me. I always wanted to write about life. I know i can never come up with exact answers.absolute definitions.But id always pen down what my head thinks of it.How pronunciation of life changes with every experience. How torture and tyranny yield diverse dimensions to sensibility !

One thing remains the same,life is one big story.Its so intricatly interesting,  painfully addictive.

The more you immserse into the depth of this existence,the more mesmerizing it becomes.To the point when you actually stop existing and start living, this precarious jigsaw of breaths and beats ! 

Dusky Dawns and Diagnostic Dilemmas ⛅️🏥

I stand and stare, as the sun rises. It’s almost 6 am and -3 degree Celsius as I prepare to head out for work. I think my car’s screen is covered with frozen ice.Nah I’m pretty sure it is . I need to get some lukewarm water for an instant fix ( didn’t have time to get a defroster or whatever it’s called ) or may be it just got buried under a million other things on my never ending to-do list .

It’s a beautiful morning, I want to stand and stare, cherish it, consume it, live it a bit more . No but I have to rush . Rush run rattle rumble over and over every day . Since that’s what’s demanded of me, this is a demanding life – It sure is a demanding venture; too damn demanding. I speed of, thinking of rather pressing issues waiting for me at work .

I can’t possibly afford random moments of standing and staring 🌀⛅️☔️!!!